Adam Newman
Renee Zellweger

Renee Zellweger

Here’s a couple of silly jokes about butts and wieners from last week’s Gotham Comedy Live on AXS TV!

I’m not sure if the McDonald’s sketch from last night’s Last Week Tonight w/ John Oliver will be online or not, but the whole episode is on HBOGO if you want to see it. Either way, here’s a bunch of pictures of me as Ronald McDonald the crew was nice enough to send me! Such a fun day and fuck McDonald’s!

I got to meet Harry Anderson tonight and he couldn’t have been a nicer guy. It was pretty surreal for me to even be standing next to the guy. I loved Night Court so much when I was a kid. It’s the first “adult” show I remember watching with my parents, even though I probably only got like a third of the jokes. My favorite part of tonight was after the show, Harry said to me, “You can really tell the generation gap by the way I was worried about the audience liking my joke about eating a gerbil, then you went up and did 5 minutes about a girl throwing up on your dick.” Harry the Hat! 

I got to meet Harry Anderson tonight and he couldn’t have been a nicer guy. It was pretty surreal for me to even be standing next to the guy. I loved Night Court so much when I was a kid. It’s the first “adult” show I remember watching with my parents, even though I probably only got like a third of the jokes. My favorite part of tonight was after the show, Harry said to me, “You can really tell the generation gap by the way I was worried about the audience liking my joke about eating a gerbil, then you went up and did 5 minutes about a girl throwing up on your dick.” Harry the Hat! 

New York Daily News

New York Daily News

Responding to YouTube comments is my favorite thing in the world.

Responding to YouTube comments is my favorite thing in the world.

It’s been two years since I posted a video of myself pulling cocaine out of a heckler’s coat, and I SWEAR I don’t want to be the comedian who only posts heckler videos. But sometimes the NYPD busts in while you’re on stage trying to make a late night submission video, arrests an audience member, then yells at you to, “Shut the fuck up!” And what are you supposed to do, not post it? 

Chappelle. Bobcat. Newman.

Chappelle. Bobcat. Newman.

I know it sounds weird, but I kinda needed this today.

I know it sounds weird, but I kinda needed this today.

There’s no other place this joke will ever work, so I’ll just stick it right here!

There’s no other place this joke will ever work, so I’ll just stick it right here!

I didn’t even know it was possible to have that much fun. Watch @midnight tonight at midnight (doy)!

I didn’t even know it was possible to have that much fun. Watch @midnight tonight at midnight (doy)!

Ok, Athens: Who’s the genius that put the Brazilian wax place next to Fuzzy’s Taco?

Ok, Athens: Who’s the genius that put the Brazilian wax place next to Fuzzy’s Taco?

doink

doink

Require.

Require.

The Truth About Improv Comedy

I used to take classes at UCB, so I can promise you this is 100% true.

There is no such thing as “improv” comedy. Everything you’ve ever seen at an “improv” show, no matter how genius or terrible you think it was, was not actually made up on the spot.

I SWEAR TO GOD this is true: Everything you have ever seen at an “improv” show was already written word-for-word by Matt Besser in 1993 and was “taught” to us by a UCB “instructor.” I can probably get in a lot of trouble for saying this (permanent removal from the UCB performer page), but I just don’t care anymore. It’s the truth. And you, the comedy fan, deserve to know: There is no improvised comedy.

DO think.

Question everything.